Tuesday, June 30, 2009

A Good Read

I've just finished reading Master of War by Suzanne Simons, HarperCollins Publishers, 2009.
Ms. Simons, an executive producer at CNN, exposes our controversial use of private military contractors in the Middle East by tracing the rise and fall of Erik Prince and his Blackwater USA.
Blackwater has been the most prominent of the 170 private companies employed by the Department of Defense and the State Department in Iraq and Afghanistan. At its high point, the 160,000 civilian "soldiers of fortune" in Iraq equaled our deployment of G.I.s. Over 40% of taxpayer dollars spent on the Iraq war has gone to private contractors.
Simons's tale of the Blackwater saga is well-written and balanced. She lays out the good, bad, and ugly about Blackwater and lets the reader conclude whether Erik Prince is a simple patriot, as he claims, or a reckless mercenary bent on exploiting our involvement in the Middle East for huge profits.
It should be noted that the State Department, under Hillary Clinton, still relies heavily on private contractors for its operations in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Child Molesting Freak Dead at Fifty

Pardon the crudeness but I'm trying to make a point. The above headline is one you'll never see.
Hundreds of celebrities, comedians, and talk-show hosts are mourning the loss of Michael Jackson. Overnight, the punch-line of cruel, tasteless jokes has become a "revered entertainment icon."
Gag me with a single white glove!
I truly hope that this orgy of hypocrisy will be short lived.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Another "Good Christian" Falls Off the Edge of the Moral High Ground

Well, it looks like the Republicans' search for a charismatic Moses to lead them out of the wilderness will continue.
Another politician has come within 6 inches of being a viable presidential candidate--and will have to pull out.
Generally, I think that we Americans make too much of our sex scandals. But Gov. Sanford's transgressions go beyond infidelity. The man has proven to be an irresponsible leader. He was derelict in his duties and now his career in public service is over.
So long Mark, we barely got to know you.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Or Visiting Mt. Rushmore, Or Shacking Up in Argentina, Or Something--Hey, Whatever

Sorry for no entries the last couple days. I was hiking the Appalachian Trail.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Dear Pastor Prevo,

I am very impressed with your long, firm, upstanding fight against faggotry. How can we allow these deviants to continue shoving their monster agendas down our throats? This new legislation is just another opportunity for hardened perverts to slide in through the back door and insert their members into our system. If we do not remain vigilant, they will have us down on our knees.

H. Mo Fobe
Dirt Road
Wasilla, Alaska

P.S. I have a hot tub in my trailer and maybe some night you could come over and pray with me.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Hating for Jesus in the Last Frontier

Once again, Alaska is embarrassing itself before the nation. The citizens of Anchorage are currently locked in a debate over a law banning discrimination based on sexual orientation.
Leading the charge against the law, of course, is the Religious Right. Most vocal of the right-wing bigots is Jerry Prevo--pastor of the Anchorage Baptist Temple. Prevo is an arch-conservative firebrand famous for his vicious gay-bashing tirades. The ABT has become headquarters for "Christian" hatemongers hiding behind the Bible.

But, BUT, this fundamentalist assclown may have crossed a line this time. There is a federal law that prohibits churches being used for political purposes. The penalty is loss of tax-free status.
Clearly, by involving his church in the crusade against gay-rights legislation, Prevo is breaking that law.
We need some fair-minded members of the legal community here to step forward and prosecute this hypocritical scumbag before more innocent people are hurt by his hateful rhetoric.
Alaskan taxpayers should not have to finance a club house for gay-bashing rabble rousers.

Monday, June 22, 2009

I Give Up--Why Are We There?

I don't see how we can justify keeping troops in Iraq for one more day. What WHAT is their mission? Al Qaida is only there because we are--the sectarian violence that has been going on for centuries has nothing to do with us or our national security.
We usually have, at least, a phony reason for occupying a country (searching for WMD) and now we don't even have that.
Why are we there?

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Are They TRYING to Piss Me Off?

Speaking of produce, I'm reminded once again of my pet supermarket peeves. Lately I've been noticing the unique language at my A&P:

Oven Baked Bread. Wow! That's better than that bread baked in a ___ or a___

Garden Vegetables. I'll be damned--they don't mine those things anymore?

Dairy Butter and Cheese. No shit--to think of all those years I wasted trying to get butter at a foundry.

Avocados 5 for $5.00. Hey, I wasn't born yesterday. I'm waiting until they're a dollar apiece!

Baby Carrots. These are not baby carrots--they're grown-up carrots that have been put through a machine that cuts them up and rounds them off. What's the point? (Or where's the point--a real baby carrot would have a top and bottom like an ordinary one.)

And still no one has explained to me why a red pepper costs more than a green one.


Saturday, June 20, 2009

True Mysteries of the Universe

Enough philosophy, history, politics. I'd like to address some of the really big questions, and here's one that's been eating away at me for years:
Why does a red (ripe) bell pepper cost 3 times as much as a green one?
They are the same vegetable. They grow from the same seeds, in the same plots-- on the same goddamn vines!
Are we charged extra for ripe cucumbers?
I want some answers.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Some People are Gay--Get Over It!

With all the serious issues facing the nation, I can't believe that our legislators are still debating the "problem" of gay rights.

Gay Marriage:
Some people have red hair, some people have blue eyes, some people are gay. According to the Constitution, as it stands, they all have equal rights. It's that simple!

Gays in the Military:
Nothing needs to be asked, told, or anything else. We have laws covering sexual harassment. Homosexuals in uniform, like heterosexuals, are subject to these laws--and the penalties for breaking them. It's that simple!


Thursday, June 18, 2009

Been There, Done That

Department of Deja Vu.
Does anyone remember Lyndon Johnson? He was a reform-minded president with a progressive agenda who got bogged down in a senseless, inherited war.
Starting to sound familiar?

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Yes! Iran Without a Shah or Ayatollah--Viva la Revolution!

I hope that the Iranians proceed with a new revolution. Hopefully, this time their attempt to install a real government won't be foiled by the CIA or a thug masquerading as a religious leader.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

"I'm Going Off to Spread Democracy, Honey--Don't Wait Up for Me"

When will our "cause" prevail in the Middle East?
Maybe when Americans are so dedicated to that cause that they will strap dynamite to their bodies and blow themselves up.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Ah, There It Is!

I was saddened to turn on a favorite NPR program yesterday and hear an interview with one of those pampered celebrities who has everything but "can't find himself." What a waste of radio waves!
This mindless, self-absorbed asshole admitted that he was making $35,000/week for doing basically nothing--just mouthing a handful of words weekly on some dumb TV sitcom. Despite his mansion and his Mercedes, psychoanalysis, rehab, aroma-therapy, and champagne enemas, his lonely search continues.
Hey! Give me a self making 35 grand a week for doing nothing and I guarantee you--I'LL FIND IT!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

"Not Tonight, Osama--'American Idol' is on"

You'll never convince me that it isn't all economics. The rich thugs running Middle Eastern countries aren't about to give their people jobs, schools, or decent homes. So they give them Jihad. It's the classic formula seen throughout history--controlling an impoverished nation by feeding it hatred.
Let the average Jihadist come home from some real work to basic cable, a bucket of fried chicken, and a clean place to shit, and he's not going to be out fucking around.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Hang On, James

James von Brunn, the Holocaust Museum murderer, remains in critical condition. I'm sure that he would object to being cared for by any of the Jews, foreigners, or blacks that commonly staff our hospitals.
Out of respect for his beliefs, I hope that the hospital will leave his wounds untreated until a good skinhead surgeon arrives.

Friday, June 12, 2009

"Welcome to Iraq--Have a Hot Dog and Some Apple Pie"

One of the problems with Iraq is that there is really no such a thing as an "Iraqi." After WWI, the Allies drew a box around an area where hundreds(!) of sects had been killing each other for centuries and called it a nation. They wanted the Middle East to look like Europe. Now we're in Iraq pushing democracy, trying to make it look like Indiana.
It just ain't gonna work.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

"Shut Uuuup! Jesus Doesn't Look Like Johnny Depp? I'm Totally Switching Religions!"

It's happened again. Is there no end to the idiots that keep finding images of Christ on everything from potato chips to barns?
Proving that these images are phony is incredibly simple. The phantom Christ always looks like Leonardo's Christ of "The Last Supper." Why would Jesus reveal himself to us as a fair-skinned, fair-haired European? Given his ethnicity, the true Christ would have probably looked more like Yassir Arafat. Remember him--that ugly bastard who looked like Ringo Starr with a tablecloth on his head?
When someone shows me a Christ looking like that, I'll take notice.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

And, No, Johnson&Johnson Isn't Saving the Planet

That's very thoughtful of J&J to run one plant on an alternative fuel. If they want to really be part of the solution, how about shutting the plant down? I don't care if they fuel the plant with dead fascists. Producing a dozen products that we don't need packaged in plastic containers that don't decay is exactly the problem.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Try Some Sawdust for Lunch--It Will Lower Your Blood Pressure

I really get tired of the phony health claims made by the big food companies.
Yes, eating Cheerios for breakfast will definitely lower your cholesterol--so will eating the box.
Cheerios (or cardboard) lower your cholesterol because they replace the ham and eggs that were raising your cholesterol!

Monday, June 8, 2009

". . . Don't Pull on Superman's Cape, Don't Piss into the Wind, and . . .

Don't mess around with Afghanistan!"
Afghanistan has been the graveyard of super powers for millennia. Do we really think that we can impose our will on the people that defeated Alexander the Great, Genghis Kahn, the British Empire, and the Soviet Union?

40,000 fatal car accidents per year is the price we pay for mobility. Terrorist attacks on our country just might be the price we have to pay for being an affluent, open society. There will always be those that don't like us. We can't start a war (or institute wire tapping and torture) every time someone assaults our way of life.

If Osama bin Laden were hiding in France, would we bomb France?

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Who Needs GM? We've Got Blackwater

Every day we are sending more civilian mercenaries to run the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Are we becoming a warrior nation, a 21st Century Sparta?
Facing recession and 10% unemployment, the Military-Industrial Complex is the only part of the American economy that's growing.

How can we believe that Obama really wants to end these stupid, useless wars when he continues making them profitable for American interests?

Friday, June 5, 2009

The American Way of Death

Been thinking about those unmanned drones we use in the Middle East. Man, that's some scary, science-fiction kind of shit.
I can see a good side: Less risk to our soldiers, more selective targeting (killing individuals without so much "collateral damage.")
On the other hand: Those things don't have consciences. They will obey orders that would be morally objectionable to a soldier. Also, the promise of no human casualties might make us more apt to start wars.
What's creepy is: Many of the drones are directed by technicians here in the U.S. The main control center is in Colorado.
I can picture a man kissing his wife good-bye in the morning, leaving his comfortable suburban home and driving to an office cubicle where he will push a button that kills someone halfway around the world.
That's got to give you the creeps!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Bail-Out Blues

I can't help noticing that the government bail-outs of the big financial institutions, meant to save the mostly white-collar community, were almost unconditional. Washington threw a bunch of money at some fat cats and walked away.
The auto company bail-outs, which will mostly aid blue-collar workers, are filled with rules, reservations, timetables, etc.

A scary observation: Many of the institutions recently bailed out by the government actually survived the Great Depression.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


Global warming skeptics:

1.) Generally, people have a motive for their actions. What would be the motive for scientists around the world (with diverse political, religious, ethnic, and socio-economic backgrounds) forming a conspiracy to mislead the rest of us?

2.) Why are all those polar bears drowning?

3.) Why are all those coastal villages up here being swamped by rising water? (No one gives a shit about some Eskimos. When New York and Miami are drowning, it will be a different story.)

And most importantly:
4.) Why are my 5 acres of woodland near Fairbanks TURNING INTO A FUCKING LAKE?

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Thanks, Cliff

Who says there's no wisdom on TV?
I've been reminded recently of the Cliff Claven (the mailman on "Cheers") theory of intelligence.
Basically, Cliff compares the effects of alcohol on the brain with predators culling the weak members from a buffalo herd. As we all know, the general health of the herd is improved by the killing of the slowest, weakest animals. This is nature's way. Similarly, alcohol destroys the slowest, weakest brain cells first--leaving a brain that is overall stronger and more efficient.
This is why you always become so smart after a few beers.

Monday, June 1, 2009

And The Winner Is . . .

It's been quite a weekend. I thought that the epitome of hypocrisy had been reached when master hate-monger, Rush Limbaugh, accused Obama's Supreme Court nominee of racism.
But then some good Christian killed a doctor to support the "right to life." That's going to be hard to beat.