Monday, January 31, 2011

"He's An S.O.B., But He's Our S.O.B."--Cordell Hull

The above quote has been credited to FDR's secretary of state in a discussion about the Dominican dictator, Trujillo.
I hope that Obama's state dept. has progressed beyond this attitude. Our current S.O.B. in Egypt, feudal relic Hosni Mubarak, is a reeking piece of human garbage that should have been thrown out decades ago.
Equally odoriferous is Secretary Clinton's ridiculous claim that we will support only "peaceful and orderly regime changes."
Right, Hillary--like the regime changes forced by our peaceful and orderly bombings of Iran, Iraq, Vietnam, Chile, El Salvador, Nicaragua . . .

It seems to me that America's foreign policy promise of "spreading democracy" demands our full support for the Egyptian uprising. Here's a chance for us to get it right for once.
Don't count on it.

"He's An S.O.B., But He's Our S.O.B."

Friday, January 28, 2011

"Taking Back America"--For Its Richest 2%

Okay, I give up--what exactly am I paying Federal Income Tax for?
Our conservative patriots in Congress have announced that they will save the nation by cutting federal funds for: Education, Agriculture, Transportation, The Environment, Art, Radio&TV, Food Safety, Social Security, Medicare . . .
In other words, everything you'd expect a halfway enlightened government to fund right off the top--before indulging anything left over in some fun stuff like invading foreign countries or helping out wealthy swindlers.

Amazingly, we don't have enough money to pay teachers or air-traffic-controllers, but we can afford to give every American millionaire an average $125,000/year tax break.
Give me a fucking break!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

"I Don't Care If My Family Has To Live On The Street--No One's Turning This Country Into Another Canada!"

I love it. The Washington lawmakers screaming the loudest about "job killing" Obamacare are the same folks who blocked the single-payer, universal coverage option originally favored by Obama and liberal Democrats.
That option would have ended the health-insurance burden and freed American businesses, from GM to the mom & pop corner store, to hire tens of thousands of new workers.
But, of course, it would have sent us down the road to becoming a nightmarish, socialist hell-on-earth--you know, like Canada, Sweden, or Holland.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

" . . . Best Health Care System In The World"

Of course John Boehner loves our current health care system--because of his wealth and his job, he doesn't have to deal with it.

I'd like to see a 28th Amendment to the Constitution. It would consist of 2 parts:
1.) Government officials must only have the same medical coverage as the lowest-income Americans.
2.) The families of all members of the the 3 branches of the federal government will automatically be drafted into the military when the U.S. takes up arms against a foreign country.

This would suddenly be the healthiest, most peaceful nation on Earth.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

"The Business Of America Is Business"

When Calvin Coolidge made this famous statement, business mostly meant producing goods in exchange for cash. Times have changed.

Unemployed Worker: "Glad to meet you. What do you do for a living?"
Wall Street Assclown: "I make money."
UW: "I mean, what do you do?"
WSA: "I told you, I make money."
UW: "That's a job, making money?"
WSA: "Sure."
UW: "But what is there at the end of the day that wasn't there before you went to work?"
WSA: "Nothing, just more money on my computer screen."
UW: "Wow! Can I find a job like that?"
WSA: "Sure. Go get an MBA from Harvard."
UW: "Where would I get the money to go to Harvard?"
WSA: "You borrow it from me, of course. Then I can put more money on my computer screen without getting my hands dirty. What the fuck's wrong with you?"

We used to have factories, now we have office buildings.
A corporation makes clavens that sell for $10, while paying 100 employees $20/hr. to sit in cubicles and push around information about the $10 dollar clavens--with money that only exists on computer screens provided by investors who produce nothing.

Yeah, I don't see why that won't work.

Monday, January 17, 2011

The American Worker, Proudly Feeding The Hand That Bites It

Is there no end to this insanity? Not satisfied with new laws allowing corporations to donate all they want to political campaigns, Republicans in Washington now want to ban labor unions from making similar donations. Beautiful! The land of the free and home of the brave--where management can influence political decisions but not labor. Why don't we dissolve Congress, turn the nation over to the CEOs of the giant corporations and be done with it?

And the truly sickening thing is that bullshit propaganda from the NRA, Tea Parties, and the Religious Right has American workers supporting the lawmakers that are screwing them.

What's happened to this country? Is blue-collar America really willing to accept lower wages and benefits in exchange for the right to buy a machine gun at the nearest 7-11 or have its children sing "Jesus Loves Me" in civics class?
The men who fought and died for the labor movement in this country have got to be spinning.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

When Brains Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Bumper Stickers That Make Sense

Guns DO kill people. The type of gun used by Jared Loughner is an enabler--it enabled him to kill 6 people in 10 seconds. Committing this level of mayhem with a knife, club, bow, or deer rifle is just plain impossible.
What the hell would we lose by banning 30-bullet clips except the ability of lunatics to commit mass murder?

To those who feel the need to carry extended-clip machine-pistols:
They're doing wonders with penis enlargement these days. You might want to look into this.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

" . . . Cheerios, A Tube Of Colgate, And Oh Yeah, A Couple .38 Clips."

I'm not sure that this is relevant, but I think it's worth remembering that the Constitution was written over 2 centuries ago--with a feather dipped in octopus splooge.

At the time, guns were heavy, cumbersome devices that fired a single wobbly shot. They required the length of a Top-40 rap song to reload and an expert marksman to hit anything smaller than a Cadillac Escalade 20 yards away. They were extremely expensive and in short supply, which is why few citizens owned them.
I seriously doubt that the authors of the Second Amendment envisioned concealable, automatic pistols available at the corner store for a day's wages.

By the way, I'm a gun owner. I support stricter gun laws and would consider joining the Girl Scouts before the NRA.

Monday, January 10, 2011

"Don't Be Fooled--This Is How It Starts. You Ban The Insane From Buying Guns And Pretty Soon . . ."

I haven't heard the talking heads mention that Jared Loughner tried repeatedly to enlist in the military--and was rejected for psychological reasons.
This is an area in which I have some experience. During wartime, and we are currently fighting 2 wars, the Army (despite the "Looking For A Few Good Men" bullshit) rejects very few. If you have 4 limbs and can write your own name, they'll take a chance on you.
Mental stability? From what I've seen, if you showed up at a recruiting station naked, with a feather-duster up your ass singing Wagner, the Army would sign you up and try to "rehabilitate" you.
They rejected Jared Loughner.
He had no trouble buying a gun.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

No, They Haven't Stopped Beating Their Wives, Either

HR2: Repeal of the Job-Killing Health Care Law.
OMG! This means . . this means that if you vote against the bill you are officially in favor of killing jobs. Oh wow, you really got us on that one.
Can you imagine the intellects of the assclowns who actually believe that this bit of classical, juvenile sophistry is a clever trick? It's truly depressing.

A law to allow more pollution is called the "Clean Air Act", a law that nullifies the Bill of Rights is "The Patriot Act." The Estate Tax, an attempt to squeeze a few bucks from our tax-cheating, millionaire patriots is (my favorite) the "Death Tax"--as if you could tax someone for dying.

Now we are being told (and told, and told--Boehner used the phrase "job-killing" 7 time in a 14-minute speech last Thursday, without ever mentioning a specific job that's being killed) that Health Care is "Job Killing."
Put on your snorkels, folks--the bullshit dam has broken and we are all about to drown.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Dear Glenn Beck, John Boehner,

Look you fucking pansies, there is no crying in Right-Wing propaganda!
Knock off the waterworks or I'll give you fags something to cry about. I'll kick your asses like you were hippie protesters at a Richard Nixon prayer breakfast. Don't make me come down there!

G. Gordon Liddy
Over the Hill and Beyond the Pale, Maryland
United By God States Of Fucking America

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Tea Party Pooper

The new Congress convened yesterday and already Boehner is talking about cutting Social Security and Medicare--while we continue dumping trillions into the bottomless money pits of counter-productive Middle East wars without a peep from our lawmakers. Apparently, this insanity has become a Congressional Entitlement.

Historically, how often has a major power won an overseas guerrilla war?

The irony of our conservative "patriots" adopting the Boston Tea Party for a symbol is particularly rich.
The original Tea Partiers were guerrillas fighting an imperialistic super-power. Sound familiar?
If what we're attempting in Iraq, Afghanistan and beyond had a chance of success, we'd still be a tea-drinking nation--and driving to the cricket match on the left side of the road.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The Gospel According To Dale Earnhardt

Followers of this blog know my opinion of auto racing (along with all other activities combining Southern accents with the internal combustion engine) and religion.
Imagine my reaction when I tuned in Public TV last night and was confronted with a documentary on: Christian Auto Racing.

There it was: A pack of yayhoos chasing their own tailpipes on a racetrack, stages filled with blissed-out shysters spewing Bronze Age insanity, desperately cheerful lost souls gushing about "Jesus in their pit crews," all accompanied by the ultimate horror--Christian rap music.

And, of course, there were souvenirs to buy: CDs, posters, new versions of the Bible (translated into monosyllables?) I thought about sending off for a token myself--just for proof that this hell-on-earth actually exists.
Or maybe it doesn't. Maybe it was all a bad dream, some nightmare of my own over-active imagination plus the can of sardines and pint of Cherry Garcia I had for dinner. Yes, it could have been merely a dream--right? Right? RIGHT? Please tell me it could have been a dream, please, please, please . . . .

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year!

For my New Year's resolution, I've decided to be less confrontational with those whose views I don't share.
Glenn Beck is a human being and deserves to be treated with respect. Just because he is a shameless, opportunistic, lying assclown, this is no excuse for showering him with insults or making fun of the knuckle-dragging cretins who support him. We are all brothers. Even though Rush Limbaugh is an ignorant, hypocritical, pill-popping racist sexist slob, he is still a member of the Family of Man and . . Yeah, right! Hey, I ain't changing and no one gets a break--not this year nor any other.
Happy New Year!