Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Washington Conservatives Give Selves Vote of No Confidence

What an embarrassing travesty the health care debate has become. Our senators and representatives in D.C. who oppose any government-run options for health insurance maintain that anything run by the federal government will be wasteful, corrupt, too expensive, inefficient, and doomed to failure. Hey--YOU ARE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!
These fools don't believe that they are competent enough to provide Americans with what has been accomplished in every other democracy in the world?
Considering that they have presided over the dumbest war in history and a collapse of the worldwide financial system in order to enrich a handful of greedheads, they might have a point.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Some New Rules

Looking at the current world mess, I wonder if some universal rules might not help. Here's a few for starters:
1.) Countries on or below the Equator or having an average summer temperature capable of cooking an omelet should not be allowed to govern themselves.
2.) Countries with heads of state under 5'6'' tall should be denied access to uranium.
3.) Any country with a population exceeding its GNP should be made to adopt birth control or a sensible religion.

Got any more suggestions?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Just My Luck To Be Neither

With Obama hating white people and his adversaries hating sick people, I guess the best thing to be in America right now is a healthy black person.

Sunday, September 20, 2009


"All of Obama's policies are based on his hatred of white people."
--Glenn Beck
Sorry to dwell on this, but I'm still slightly in shock.

I guess I should congratulate the Republican extremists. I had thought there was no way that I could be more embarrassed to be an American in front of my European friends than I was during the presidency of George W. Bush--you have proven me wrong.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Desperate Conservatives Break Out the Hoods and Robes

Had a real shock last night. I happened by a TV just in time to see Fox News assclown, Glenn Beck, explain that all of Obama's policies are "based on his hatred of white people." What the fuck! I still can't believe it. This is the outrageous, racist propaganda being presented to the American public as "news?" I had to check to make sure I wasn't viewing a Klan rally or skinhead march.

I knew that Republican extremists would react to President Obama with dirty tricks but hardcore race baiting is more than I ever expected. It is truly depressing that these people have sunk so low. What's next--Karl Rove burning a cross on the White House lawn?

Thursday, September 17, 2009


Hypocrisy (hyp-oc-ra-sy) n. 1. Ranchers, loggers, and miners using public lands and national parks for their livelihoods; farmers accepting federal subsidies while blasting government-run health care as "socialism."

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

A Stranger In My Own Strange Land

I wonder what visiting foreigners think of this country.
We have huge supermarkets with a hundred thousand different products--and down the street "health food" stores selling real food.
We have public schools in every community--and down the street public "charter schools" offering a real education.
We have bakeries and breweries--and down the street "craft" businesses selling real bread and beer.
Foreigners must find this strange. I live here, and I do.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Truth Is Where You Find It

Great quotations sometimes come from unexpected sources. Listening to the news lately, I'm reminded of one of my favorites:
"One death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic."
--Joseph Stalin

Friday, September 11, 2009

Why Spend The Nation's Wealth On It's Citizens' Health When You Can Use It To Start Phony Wars?

A wise man once said: "In a democracy, you get what you deserve."
Observing the current backlash against the president, I'm struck with the incredibly depressing thought that we deserve an ignorant, incompetent, dishonest fool like George Bush rather than a Barack Obama.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Executive Pearls Before Legislative Swine

That was a truly magnificent speech by the president last night. What a joy--especially after 8 years of Dubya stammering his way through prepared speeches that, apparently, he hadn't even bothered to read before delivering.
It probably won't do Obama any good--considering the corruption, the irrational forces of fear and pure hatred that he faces--but still, what a great speech!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Paris Hilton Has Gas, Levi Johnston Buys New Hockey Stick, Local Beautician Teaches Her Kids To Hate The Black President . . .

I'd like to congratulate the "liberal press" for making celebrities out of the white-trash assclowns who boycotted Obama's back-to-school speech. Juneau's own miserable excuse for a newspaper chose to feature one of them right smack on its front page.
Must our legitimate news sources join the supermarket tabloids in making media heroes out of the dumbest members of our society?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Embarrassing Day

Think about it--school kids needing permission from their parents to hear the president speak.
Politics? Bullshit! It's racism, pure and simple.
What an embarrassing day for the United States of America--and what a disappointing day for the rest of the world.

Of Course, With All Their Illegitimate Children, Ben and Tom May Have Been "Pro-Lifers"

To those members of the Religious Right who insist that this is a "Christian country": Try removing your noses from the Bible long enough to check out some history books.
Benjamin Franklin claimed that religion was "the worst thing to ever happen to the human race." Thomas Jefferson declared Christianity to be "the most ridiculous of all religions."
Do these sound like men founding a Christian country?

Monday, September 7, 2009

I Guess We Didn't See The Fine Print: "Unless There's A Black President"

You've got to love it! After campaigning endlessly for school prayer and "Creationism," on the eve of Obama's back-to-school speech the Religious Right has decided that "schools are no place for teaching values."
Apparently, reading the Bible in public schools (a clear insult to the Constitution) is okay, but a pep talk from the president is "socialist indoctrination."

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Welcome To The Coliseum, Here's Your Remote

Some things never change. Not when it comes to what entertains us. Watching a horrible movie last night, it struck me that one of the basic principles of entertainment hasn't changed since the Roman gladiator shows: There is a victim, and it ain't me. (The Romans sometimes brought a starving slave to their food orgies. Not being the guy starving to death enhanced the enjoyment of overeating.)
This is why crime, car crashes, and cage fighting are such popular entertainments. That's not me being murdered. That's not me being caught and sent to prison. That's not me in the burning race car. That's not me with some muscle-bound, extra-male-chromosome mutant beating my head in.
(Interestingly, this principle also applies to comedy. A hundred people walk around the banana peel--Charlie Chaplin steps on it and falls on his ass. We would be the smart ones that walk around it. We wouldn't be the injured fool lying on the sidewalk.)

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Hey Limbaugh, Can You Spare A Few Oxy's? I'll Go Easy On You For A While--Anything To Stop This PAIN!

I am in a foul mood. My back has been injured, keeping me in near constant PAIN, but the health insurance provided by my current carpentry gig doesn't kick in for another 2 weeks. So, I will be able to see a doctor--eventually. But for right now, PAIN.

This brings up an interesting feature of our medical system.
While I was unemployed all summer with zero money coming in and my meager savings dwindling, I was expected to pay out-of-pocket for my medical care. Now that I'm employed, with money coming in, my medical care will be paid for. This is the usual situation in our Alice-In-Wonderland health-care system--the only people getting free medical care are the people who can afford medical care. The poor and unemployed are screwed. Nice!

I'm facing a rough 2 weeks, but I ease the PAIN by imagining that I'm projecting it on to the fat-cat Republicans and ignorant yay-hoos who are fighting Obama's universal health-care plan.
Are Americans really that selfish? Do we really believe that only the prosperous are entitled to be free of PAIN? Shit! Here come the spasms--take that O'Reilly, here's one for you Palin, you like that Hannity, how does that feel Dodson . . .

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Have Another Helping Of Bacon--Your Cardiologist Is Putting In A New Pool

An attorney's financial reward is determined by the number of cases he wins; an athlete's by the number of games he wins; a musician's by how well he plays; an artist's by how well he has mastered his craft.
In America, a doctor is rewarded by the length and severity of your malady.

Do you think that this has anything to do with Americans paying several times more for health care than citizens of other wealthy nations and getting poorer results?