Dear Joe,
Last night I told a friend that he was stupid and he responded by calling me a "drunken asshole." I think that this was an extreme over-reaction. My friend disagrees.
Accordingly, I have contacted the president and requested that he, my friend, and I get together at the White House for a beer so that we can straighten this thing out.
After that beer maybe we can do a little Jaeger, a few duck-farts, and some chili-bombs. Next we could play a couple rounds of chug-a-lug, "shoot" some six-packs, and finish up with a tray of jello-shots. Then we'll let President Obama decide who's right.
Hey, no one's calling me a drunken asshole and getting away with it!
D. A. Smith
3rd Barstool From The Door
Anchorage, Alaska
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