Sarah's Big Adventure

We're down to just a few more days of candidate Palin lecturing us on economics. The next time you hear Sarah's financial views, please note: As part of her NRC funded shopping spree, she bought an $800.00 Louis Vuitton purse for her six-year-old daughter.

Please respond by checking one option.
I would relate the above-mentioned purchase more closely with:
1.) A responsible, down-to-earth hockey mom
or
2.) An out-of-control, white-trash bimbo

In a McCain/Palin administration, who would be Secretary of the Treasury--Paris Hilton?

Alaskan Voters B*** F***ed Long Enough

Welcome to the Alaskan political scene. Along with our governor making a national spectacle of herself, we now have a senator with 7 felony convictions.
But what's truly remarkable is, it gets worse. Behold our lone congressman: Don Young.
While delivering a high-school commencement speech in Fairbanks, Don denounced the National Endowment for the Arts by declaring that he would block any funding for a "bunch of butt-fuckers." Nice, huh?
Fairbanks is a unique place. To our many distinctions we can now add: First graduating high-school seniors and their families to be treated to the term "butt-fucker" in a commencement ceremony.
Do you really need to know any more about the man?
Our Neanderthal congressman is currently facing several corruption charges. Hopefully, he will soon be sharing a jail cell with Sen. Stevens--tastefully decorated with "Dogs Playing Poker," "Velvet Elvis," and other works of non-gay art.

Keepin' It Real

Dear Real Americans,
I'm sick of hearing about this other Joe the Plumber guy. What the the hell does he know? He knows that shit runs downhill and Barack Hussein Obama is a communist. Duh!
If instead of running around giving interviews like some big shot he stayed home at night and listened to smart guys on AM radio he'd know what I know. He'd know that in Arab countries shit runs uphill and if Barack Hussein Obama is elected he's gonna bring a bunch of Arab plumbers over here who will fix it so that shit runs uphill in America too.
And then what are Real American plumbing businesses gonna do, huh?
Wake up America!

Sincerely,
The Real Joe the Plumber
Trulee, Missouri
United States of Real America

A Letter From Iraq

Dear John,
Hey, you senile old fart--get your ass in gear! You promised us a hundred years of easy money over here and we're holding you to it. What the hell do you expect us to do--come home to your trashed-out economy and work for a living?

Sincerely,
Joe The Government Contractor

Come On, Boy, Go To Work!

Bush, McCain, and their cronies shouldn't be too upset if they lose the White House next month.
Aren't these rich Republicans used to having black men come in after them and clean up their mess?

You Can't Trust Anyone Anymore!

The Republicans' campaign to expose Obama and his supporters as terrorists is making great progress.
It has finally outed Colin Powell.
Who would have guessed that a West Point graduate, veteran of two wars, four star general, ex-Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and former Bush cabinet-member is actually an anti-American terrorist?
Keep up the good work!

Dubya: The Personal Touch

I used to think that George W. Bush's main focus was on destroying the image of our nation as a whole.
With the current financial fiasco, I can see that he has also been working to destroy the lives of individual Americans.
I guess he's really just a people person.