Drive A Goddamn Tank If You Want--But PAY For It

This is some serious wishful thinking, but one solution to our automobile problems might be Graduated Gasoline Pricing.
For instance: If you drive a SUV in Manhattan, you pay $50/gallon; $10/gallon for driving a sensible compact. If you were a rancher in Montana, needing to drive long distances and dependent on your vehicle for work, you would pay $5/gallon.

Why should we all suffer because of the idiot who feels the need to drive a Hummer from his townhouse to his office?

"I Know You're Hungry, But Our Millionaire Senator Needs To Be Re-Elected"

The battle rages over the president's plan for more spending to stimulate the economy vs. the Republican plan for more cut-backs to reduce the deficit.
The historical precedent favors spending (FDR during The Great Depression), but high unemployment can sure make the opposition party look good in the polls.

Once more, American workers would be sacrificed by the GOP to the conservatism that earns it votes.
What will provide more nourishment for the family of an unemployed worker--a lower deficit or a paycheck?

Guns Or Butter? Yes, (If You Must) You CAN Have Both

Well, it's been a busy time in Washington for our Republican legislators. They have successfully blocked funding for extended UI benefits and the "Race to the Top" program. This unique economic strategy denies money for unemployed workers (money that would go right back into the economy) and for the education needed by youths to find jobs.
Nice work, guys.

To my fellow blue-collar workers:
Look, I don't give a shit if every room in your house has a Bible and a radio tuned to Rush Limbaugh, if you have a cellar filled with assault rifles and a framed portrait of David Duke above your mantle.
When it comes to your economic welfare, VOTING REPUBLICAN IS LIKE FEEDING BULLETS TO SOMEONE HOLDING A PISTOL TO YOUR HEAD.
How long will you allow yourselves to be screwed because of the lie that your Constitutional freedoms, including the right to bear arms, are being threatened?

How To Win The War On Terrorism--Part 2

Another of my plans is what I call "Operation Trojan Horse":
As a gesture of good will, we send Afghanistan BP to develop its oil fields and the Army Corps of Engineers to overhaul its infrastructure--then just sit back and let nature take its course.
After centuries of failure, this might be the one-two punch that finally brings Afghanistan to its knees.

Some Progress Worth Celebrating

So many strange twists in the short history of this country.
I wonder if Senator Byrd, when he was in the Ku Klux Klan, could have possibly imagined that a black president would be delivering a eulogy at his funeral.

Happy Fourth of July.

Thank God We Have Elected Officials Safeguarding Our Traditions

I'm glad to see conservative senators attacking Elena Kagan for her ties to Thurgood Marshall--the man who probably did more than any other American to end segregation.
If they're not careful, they might confirm someone who would continue his work by trying to end discrimination against Hispanics, women, and gays.

A Close Call

The arrest of those Russian spies should be a comfort to everyone worried about Obama being soft on national security.
Deep under cover in suburban America, the secret agents were right on the verge of discovering Colonel Sanders' 11 secret herbs and spices, unraveling the mystery of the Infield Fly Rule, and exposing the molecular structure of a Frisbee.
I think we'll all sleep a little easier tonight.